But enough about why all of those excuses. I wanted to come back Adoption Month & some thoughts I've had for quite some time but these thoughts have been buried by life & other events. However, after reading Jen Hatmaker's blog about how to 'be there for families' especially those who are adopting international. All my thoughts/feelings of our adoption returned to the surface even though our adoptions were domestic, i.e. here in the US & much of Jen's How to be the Village can be tweaked to apply to domestic adoptions as well. I encourage you to read Jen Hatmaker's blog...it's one of my newest blogs that I've added to my reading list, she is in your face just as it is, no painting pretty pictures, etc...its real life.
So these are my thoughts about being an adoptive mom:
- Be very excited for you friends/family even if you are s-c-a-r-e-d to death for them because you think a situation will not work out.
- Try not to be too nosey...we understand you have our best interest at heart, but sometimes we just don't want to share everything
- When the call comes to leave even at the last moment, pray for the safety of all involved. Help your family/friends get away as quickly as possible. Clean out the refrigerator for them (& then restock prior to their homecoming), take care of the mail.
- Make their homecoming special...your family/friends have waited & waited for their child(ren) to come them. Make the airport arrival exciting...have balloons, signs, as many people as possible their for them —it will mean the world to them.
- Decorate their house...have balloons/a new baby sign in the yard/flowers for the new parents. Many adoptive parents don't have a hospital experience nor get the 'new' mom treatment instead we dive straight in learning as we go....Poor Shayla was such a guinea pig on so many things, thankfully she was a great baby!
- Feed the new family! Even if they decline or dance around the subject—they are sleep deprived, they really don't know what to say nor what they are saying. Plan for at least 2 weeks after the family returns home.
- Dote on the new family, call to check on them, ask how they are feeling, how is the baby, how is their child's birthfamily doing...this is all new territory to everyone & lots of times as much as family doesn't mean any by their words, the questions they ask can be rude or hurtful...use lots of kindness & grace.
- Pray for all the members of the adoption triad: the birthfamily hurts & misses their child, the adoptive family is walking in new territory & child especially if not a newborn has many transitions to make.
"A mother's love for her child is like no other love. To be able to put that feeling aside because you want the best for your child is the most unselfish thing I know,"
-Natasha, American Adoptions Birth Mother.
I am thankful both my kids birthmoms loved them enough to allow me to become their mom. Celebrate National Adoption Month!
It is Thanksgiving week...12 years ago we were neck deep into painting our living room & nesting praying that we would be blessed with a child in early 2000. What a ride of parenthood we have been on the last 12 years...thanks be to God we are parents because our children's birthparents chose us.
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