all about hayden

This was written for our adoption agencies forum,
***********************************
So I have some time tonight. Shayla's ballet performance was this evening--yeah another year completed, will see if she continues next year. Each kid is w/ a grandmom as I'm on call for the rest of the weekend & Tim is working. So since I haven't recieved the come to work call, thought I'd try to post an update on our family....

I've mentioned from time to time that Hayden wasn't talking & finally at his 18 month check up in February, we got the speech therapy referal in motion. Along w/ speech, Hayden qualified for LIFT, infant & children therapy since his fine motor skills especially were grossly delayed.
Hayden's only word until speech started in April was 'DaDa' & that was to anyone it didn't matter who or what.

He also would throw major fits hitting his head on the floor.....we aren't talking typically tantums that most 2 yr olds throw either. We are talking he was often throwing himself straight down on the floor from a standing position....recall the Nestle Tea commerical from years ago & the pool where the guy falls straight back into the deep end of the pool....that was/is Hayden. And concentration to completed a task......nill, he couldn't & wouldn't be still for anything, not even to play w/ toys; Hayden was & is in continuous motion....like a hamster wheel always going.

Meal times were agony, going anywhere w/o 2 adults was crazy & our house looks like a hurricane...some of this is better, some is the same & some is a work in progress...some times we feel like we are going no where fast, it is very frustrating & confining at times as well.


After a month of speech therapy & LIFT session as well as play therapy w/ LIFT, we really weren't seeing much progress. We, Hayden's speech therapist along w/ the adults Tim, myself, Grammy, etc...were working w/ Hayden through out the day in his high chair b/c that was the only place you could contain him....he HAS NO ATTENTION SPAN, he is in constant motion. The sessions of working on speech & introducing sign language especially the 'more' sign became like a feeding fest. Kerri, speech therapist, talked w/ another therapist who suggested a joint session to see how Hayden was doing & how is responded to what we were doing.

WOW.......eyes were opened wide the evening of our joint session w/ Kerri & Meko. While Meko isn't a doctor nor an OT, she has worked w/ many children who have sensory intergration disorder. Hayden fits those characteristics. The way Meko was able to play w/ Hayden & use signs w/ him was simply amazing!! He was the happiest, smiling, giggly boy we have EVER SEEN!
I had such tears of joy,tears of frustration of how do we continue to help him at home & out in public/at church/preschool in the fall, & tears of what do we need to do for him for life. But the session was great b/c Hayden was so happy being free to roam, play the way he needs to play & be played with.

While all of my questions can't be answered immediately, the important things are that Kerri is lobbying Hayden's serivce team to add OT to his realm of things needed. Hayden's inital hearing test was ok, but we were able to get a testing date at the school for the deaf & blind next week to make sure that there isn't a hearing loss. We learned some ways to help Hayden work out some of his energy. We are working on the minumal speech approach where we only say one word, like outside or ball or drink, etc....b/c he so much going on in his head that he can't process all the speech. An OT can make the sensory intergration disorder diagnosis & that is one reason we are earger to get that service started. Of course one thing that is scary is that autism & sensory intergration often go hand in hand, but we would have to have extensive testing done to determine the diagnosis of autism & at this point have decided wait on the extensive testing. The key that I have been reading & have been told is early intervention.....the sooner you suspect a delay & get some intervention the less over all delay the child has in life. The moral is that I was ready to be a pain in the horses back side w/ our ped had we NOT gotten the referral for speech, etc finally at 18 months b/c I had mentioned the lack of vocabulary at 12 month & 15 month check ups. I have been told by several that I have 'done good' w/ being proactive & getting the early intervention for Hayden now.

Big speech news...in the last week Hayden has started to say the word EAAAAAT......of course the boy only wants to eat goldfish, cheerios & graham cracker sticks.....but its a new word !

If the weather isn't rainy in the evenings, we are outside working out the energy. We are all pooped...Shayla is tired of school & can't wait for the next 9 school days to past quickly .
Tim & I work on spending quality time w/ Shayla in the evenings & on the weekends.
As well as time for ourselves & as a couple.

Hayden's birthfather is a great guy who is very interested in Hayden's life. Andrae always wants to know how things are going & how Hayden is doing in his therapy. We learned not to long a go that Hayden's birthmom needed/wanted space to learn to live life, so we don't hear from her very often. It is hard to 'let things go' but for her respect & privacy to live life we are letting her lead the way w/ our relationship now.

Haven't heard from Shayla's brithmom since last fall. I often wonder how she is & what she thinks of Shayla. I asked Shayla if she wanted to call her last weekend but she didn't voice interest....I continue to water the plants waiting for beautiful blooms??!

It is hard to believe that 2 years ago, we were in SA for our weekend! Wowwie, amazing how time flies, things change, people come & go but the friends you make stay the same.....thanks Peas for being friends!
And just a year ago we were in SA to finalize Hayden's adoption.